11. Too Familiar

My brain feels like it is spinning around and around, but no matter how much I stand here and blink and pinch myself, this nightmare doesn't fade. A young boy about my age dashes by clutching a bright colored round object under his arm. He turns and runs backwards as he waves and shouts, "Hey Kayla! Welcome back!"

Welcome back? I wonder. Where have I been? I mean- My head aches from thinking. I don't want to think anymore. A mob of kids run by, laughing and shouting, "Hi Kayla! Come play with us! Do you want George to keep the ball forever? C'mon!" They keep laughing like nothing is wrong in the universe. But I know something is wrong. Maybe not with the universe, maybe the problem is simply with me. But no matter what the problem is, I don't want to solve it. I don't want to think about it. I want to run to that lonesome, quite grass, fall asleep, and wake up in my familiar, comfortable bunk in the girls room of the Zermedine. I want to forget everything Kevin told me about this place, everything that lady from the journal ever wrote! I run and run and run again, pain returning to my sore legs, blood rushing to my face in anger. I want everything back! I want mom and dad and Kevin and Rachael and even Florence mocking me and pestering me! I don't CARE! I wish I never had been given that ROCK!

I stop running. Where did that come from? I wonder, reaching to my pocket (which is now a bright red sweater) and find it empty. I slump down to the cool grass, I am already far enough from the town. I can't hear it, I can't see it, I just wish I could forget it. I sigh, I guess I do want that rock. It would at least be something to tell me I am not insane... I sit and pout for I don't know how long, but when I roll over onto my back and stare up at the sky, it is the familiar dark orange! I run my hands through the grass, disappointed that it is still there, then stand up and reach my hands up as far as I can. I feel really silly, but I just want to touch the sky and go home. If only I could touch the sky...

I start to feel excitement again, but I don't know why. I am not excited at all, I am not even close to satisfied or happy. Suddenly I recognize the intruding feeling. I scan the green sea looking for it but I can't find it. Then I almost feel like Ziri is directing me, but it is not an actual voice in my head, it is simply a feeling... a call and I follow it, not caring where it is. I walk and walk, turning left or right hear and there, but I feel like I am just being delusional and walking in a giant circle. I don't know and I don't care. I just want to follow the feeling, because it is distracting me from my confusion. I close my eyes and follow my feeling for an eternity, it seems, until I stumble on something on the ground. I collect myself and don't spend even a second, pitying myself for the cuts and bruises I got. With my eyes open, I can now see that I am no longer in the grassy field, but on a concrete ghost land.  I stare in wonder as the concrete stretches out and out across the horizon, but behind me lies the vast grassland. I stand to find that I had simply tripped over the edge of the concrete.

I sigh, close my eyes and focus... the feeling returns and I open my eyes and run. It is getting dark, so I can't see very far, but I run anyway. I run and run and run, but I suddenly get the strange feeling that I need to freeze!

"FREEZE!" I hear, and the familiar voice makes me scream and collapse to the ground, unconscious.